A *BIG* Thank you !!

     Anyone who knows me knows how attached I am to my children !!  I want to be with them ALL the time - even though I can get irritated with them :D  I love having the 3 of you close & knowing what your upto at all times !  Sooo being away from you big boys even during testing was a pull on my heart :(  Thankfully Grandma & a very, sweet, dear friend from high school came to many appointments & helped momma feel comfortable knowing you were in good care while I went with ZC into the testing rooms.  One time in particular I recall - I came out of testing to find that my friend had held ZB & walked him & comforted him as he was way to tired & needed a nap but wanted his momma.  These are the moments I am so grateful for - I have said thank you over & over but really she'll never know HOW grateful I truly am...  

    We did all we could to help you big boys during this crazy time.  I packed play dough & crayons & cars... anything to help pass the time !  My friend brought her daughter to the Children's Hospital too so you boys would have a playmate :)

     Then we have the wonderful friends who brought us dinner into the hospital too - each of you made a sacrifice for us & we are blessed you did !!!!  Another set of friends spent their summer vacation time coming to see us :)  This was very special & really showed us how much you care for our family.  Thanks from the bottom of my heart - I could NOT have done it without YOU ALL !!

My 1st *KiNderGarTnEr* !! ZA :)

ZA(4yrs) & ZC(2mos) 

     A few weeks ago 'we' started kindergarten !!  I was quite nervous about this new time approaching as before this the longest ZA had been away from mom/dad was 3hrs !!  and that was only a few days a week of preschool that we only did for a few months !  So we really didn't have much practice on this being apart thing..

     We took a day a week before school started and as a family toured the school :)  Then we went out for a  lunch of ZA's choice : King Kong - why King Kong ???  Well b/c ZA likes GodZilla & King Kong ... !  So he ordered a hamburger :)  It was the biggest he had ever had !!  He ate every bite of it !  Then we ate DQueen later as it was the day that a portion of the proceeds go to you local Childrens Hospital :D
                   
          Daddy takes you to school & momma picks you up at the gas station bus stops most days.  Sometimes we go inside & eat icecream treats before heading home :D     You are not thrilled about school but also don't mind going !  It's a perfect middle of the road approach !  Only 1 day thus far have you requested to NOT go :)  That was due to you being sooo excited to make putty :)  But I promised we would wait till you got home !  And I explained that if we don't send you to school we can get in trouble with the police...  You quickly sd you should go then !! :)  Your a great big brother ZA we all love you !! We miss you during the day but know you are taking steps toward the future we pray for daily for you !

ZA(5) @ KingKong Restaurant

      

                       

.-.- Weeks of CraZy Days.-.-.

     ZB & ZC - clearly the brotherly love flows already :) :)  So after THE CALL....  started weeks of craziness....  The 1st appointment stands out to me still over a year later.  It was a rainy day & we drove - me & the 3 boys to a specialist out of town...  She took one look at ZC & the information I gave her & sd she was pretty certain he had biliary atresia - a blockage.  The way it rolled out of her mouth seemed harmless -  we FINALLY had a name for what was the cause of the problems !!  I felt about 50% relieved.  Then she sd so I'm sending you to the Children's Hospital right now.  Okay....  there went some of my feeling better feelings !!  I mean I've always heard how hard it is to get into specialists... 
  So thankfully Grandma was with us and she helped corral the big Z's around.   We ran to SO many appointments that I know I  cannot remember each one... My heart & head were spinning out of control I felt...    I was almost praying 100% of my awake moments - which was a lot.....   Just preparing for the tests BROKE my heart...  Here I had this *precious* bundle who loved to eat :) that I had to 'starve' for 4 hours & LONGER for testing - not just once but over & over again !  Yes all newborns love to eat but ZC really loved to eat :D  Well we didn't know why yet..

     So I would manipulate his schedule the best you can for a newborn.  I'd keep him up late, let him sleep a few hours then wake him & play & bathe then eat & put him to sleep in his carseat so it would be one less move on way to hospital...  I did everything in my power to have ZC be happy while not being able to eat... If I was told : "don't feed him after 3:00am then I'd start feeding him at 2:30am so he'd be right at the last minute of opportunity !!!  And I PRAYED non stop !!!!  I prayed for ZC to sleep peacefully   The Lord blessed us each time :)  and ZC did *awesome* barely fussing !!!!  We did get him to take a paci during this time :)  we would sometimes be allowed to dip it into sugar water to help keep him happy during the tests.

     The test I was worried about the most was where we had to withhold him eating for 4hours prior to the test and the entire 1.5hours after testing !!!!  ZC had to lie perfectly still during the test which was lil over an hour & he had dye put in his lil system to see where it would go...  The techniian was not helpful to this very stressful time..  He would tell me things like : he might have :  cystic fibrosis & .... wrong... grrr I later was told he had no grounds telling us that & thankfully he was WrOnG !              

     I stood over the long table and stuck my head right next to your ZC - heads touching :)  I sang in your ears the entire time and prayed over you - You did GREAT !!!!  We were ALL amazed :D  I thank You Lord for every time you answered this momma's heart cry !!                                                    

   
   
   

Need a Laugh ??

     I sooo wish I would have started this blog a LONG time ago !  My boys say & do the FuNNIeSt things & I don't want to forget these things that make me smile, laugh, & cringe !!
      So today 8-31-2011 ZB watched Mickey Mouse on YouTube...  Well a few hours later when I got on the computer I felt a lump under my mousepad - I thought this is weird I mean in ALL the years of my computer time I've never felt a lump.. So after a few minutes of it bothering me I lifted the edge - an EartHwOrM !!!!  thanks for the laugh ZB :)  love you :)

The Call that I'll Never Forget....

     So since i already had my 3 lil helpers dressed & out of the house i figured we would stop by target before heading home to grab a few things.  i had briefly seen my pastors wife in the card section upon entering the store - we chatted a few moments & then i wanted to rush along before baby ZC needed to eat !  so we grabbed about 1/2 of what we came for & the phone rang... over a year later i still remember where i was walking/standing at in the store (facing east just outta the cold section w/the dishes on my left).  it was a horrible feeling....  this voice on the other end was telling me that my beautiful, precious ZC's liver numbers were not good & that i would need to see a specialist...  my feet felt like lead, yet at the same time i couldn't walk 'fast' enough... it was like i was trapped - i mean seriously my heart was being RIPPED outta my chest & being stomped on....  here i am living life & i was just  told i could lose it....

       so i started making my way up front to pay for what was already in my cart...  i was crying - people were staring - i was feeling like i wanted to scream - you have NOOOO idea what i am experiencing.  just then i 'happened' (another part of my awesome Heavenly Father's plan !) to see my pastor's wife again. she prayed over us right then & there in the middle of the busiest section of target...  my husband does not carry a cell phone so she was my 1st adult to share with that i needed serious prayers.

     za & zb were very, very concerned - asking why was mommy crying ??  what is wrong ??  i just kept saying we MUST pray for zc to be healthy & for healing inside of him...  this was the start of a long journey for these 2 big brothers. they both prayed & i could not stop praying.  i just kept praying, praying, & praying.....  my heart was pleading with our Maker for my new blessing to be perfect.

The Start of a Long Medical Journey

     So we made an appt to see the pediatrician when she would be back in our town...  Upon seeing ZC she still felt confident that this was a case of nothing more than breastfed jaundice.  she made me feel like there really was no reason for this appt i had chose to make...  i failed to mention that the nurse had even sd on the phone that maybe we could just get him checked at his 2mos well check - i sd i definitely did not feel comfortable doing that.  so the dr sd that she would do a blood test just to make me happy !!!!!  okay ! "make me happy"....  so here i am with my 3 precious babes... we go over to get his blood drawn =  seems like a simple task, right ??


     well nope nothin easy about it.  the dr ordered loads of tests  - too many tests the lab tech sd as lil zc was too lil to spare as much blood would be necessary. so infront of me the already upset momma the technician & the dr went back & forth over the phone for a good 20 minutes !  my confidence level in this pediatrician was going down by each word i heard b/t the 2 of them !  thank goodness God blessed us with a knowledgeable lab tech - as she was the one who was telling the dr - he only weighs .... that means i can only draw ... amount of blood.


     so finally the sweet lab tech whom i know God put there to protect ZC took his precious blood & sent us on our way... sd that some of  the results would be back in bout an hour.... and others would take longer to be processed..  we'd only get a call  IF something wasn't right.


     

the Start of a Miracle before Our Eyes !!

     its one of those moments i never want to forget yet also hate thinking about times....  since i want to share how much the Lord has blessed us i have decided to finally share our miraculous story !  a year ago (2010) this time i  was a mess.  i had a beautiful newborn baby - ZC, a 28mos old ZB, & a 4yr old - ZA.
     
       it was that momma instinct.  our precious tiny new lil bundle was sleeping way more than we thought normal, had a very swollen tummy that was hard, & was yellow head to toe = including the whites of his eyes.  pediatrician kept saying it was jaundice.... but i just wasn't quite thinking so - ZA & ZB both came home from the hospital w/jaundice...  here ZC was born in june - i had this baby sunbathing nude - -     how i wondered could it be JUST jaundice ??..  then   few days /week or so later i was told he had breastfed jaundice.... okay now that was a new one on this momma so i felt 'better' ...
     
       until everyone around us made comments on his YELLOW skin & eyes....  OK that's IT .... no more of this over the phone business - i demanded for him to be seen.  well i recall that the day i decided enough was enough that the pediatrician we were using was at a clinic in a different town... i could either try to go there or just wait - the nurse i kept speaking with was sure that waiting another few days was no biggie.... she had me = i mean these people go to school for years & have been practicing forever....  i must just be overcautious ???  well IF i was able to undo/redo something this is ONE of them i WISH i could.... i wish SO bad i would've just put my new baby in the car & drove to the amazing Children's Hospital nearby... but that was in a different town - sadly the thought never crossed my mind...  i was a tire/worried momma hoping that those i was putting my trust in were doing the right thing.